Out of the Box


  
Welcome to out of the box funeral services. We specialise in bespoke funerals for the discerning, honest and creatively bereaved. We offer: 

Coffinless Death Crowdsurf your dearly beloved from the chapel of rest to the flames of the crematorium or, if you prefer, into a pit of quicklime.
Definite Death Are you worried that you loved one might actually be buried alive? It does happen. For a small price we'll take the body out of the box and, right in front of your eyes, kick the shit out of it.
Round Death Do you find coffins a bit ‘boxey’? We have a range of spherical ‘burial balls’ to roll the bundled up corpse to its final resting place. Imagine standing on top of a hill with all your friends sadly waving as the recently deceased trundles down the slope and then drops off over a cliff. A family favourite is our ‘love bomb’; a loaded burial ball, stuffed full of explosives, is sombrely rolled down a special groove into the pipe of a buried cannon which fires your beloved into the atmosphere, culminating in a dignified conflagration.

Your Death All the people you love are going to be together at your funeral, listening to your favourite songs, eating your favourite food and talking about you... shame you're not going to be there isn't it? But with our 'pre-death' package you can! We'll arrange your funeral, to your specifications, feign your death, get everyone together and then, at the critical moment, you can jump out of the coffin and join in!
Their Death During the bereavement process we offer a free counseling service in which you will come to terms with the fact that the person you mourn is dead, that they are not coming back, ever, and that your grief, most likely, is completely selfish, okay?
Actual Death, Now Are you appalled by the ignorance, agony and fakery that surrounds death? Do you find, in the face of death, life to be meaningless? Does your world collapse around you at the thought of loss? What is death? We’re here, not to give you more answers, more things to believe in, more empty consolations and gestures of sympathy, but to bring your normal thinking feeling self to such absolute stillness and silence that "you" literally go through experience of death.